Oh, My Little Bird

Birds have always had special meaning to me as a mother. My babies, my little birds.

For my first mother's day BJ got me this beautiful necklace, a chain with a small birds nest and three little blue eggs. Even then, four years ago, two of the eggs were for our Canaan and Ezra, and the third, for our little girl brought to us not by birth, but by the grace of God.

Flash forward three years. Ever since we have started our process, I have thought a lot about our baby girl and all she's been through. I'm just so thankful of how God has been with her and taken care of her as she waits to be in our arms. One quote from an old gospel hymn, which is now in Lainey's lifebook is "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me." He's always seen her, and was always, since before she was born, making a way for her to us, and us to her.

Since we found Lainey, we have had trouble translating her Chinese name. We new the meaning of her first name, but her middle name was a mystery. Yesterday at work, while helping a professor who teaches an introductory mandarin class, I stole myself to ask her if she might help me in solving this mystery.

"Her name is very beautiful," she told me, "it means 'a bird, or a Swallow'". 

I think my jaw hit the floor.

My baby, my little bird. It feels so clear that she was always meant to be ours. She was always the one we were searching for in this journey, the one God had always known would be ours. She needed us, and we needed her. And so He brought us together.


(One of our favorite music artists is Josh Garrels. This song, "Little Blue", is one of the three songs we sent to Lainey in her care package.)

Show & Tell

Canaan was so proud to be special helper on Pajama day at preschool. Because he was bestowed this great honor on this particular day, he was able to bring in a Picture of his baby sister to share with his friends. We had just told the boys Alaina (Lainey)'s name a day, so he couldn't remember it, but his "Mom figured out was her name is". :)

Lainey's Room

Our baby girl has never known what it is to have a family. A Mommy to rock her to bed, a Daddy to play peek-a-boo and hug, or brothers to play with and be protected by.

Soon, so so soon she will have all that every child deserves. The love of a family. I'd say at 14 months, she's waited long enough. My heart is completely broken for those sweet little ones who have waited year after year and may never know what is to be called daughter or son.

While we wait, there's not much we can do for our sweet Lainey right now, besides pray, pray some more, and prepare. So this past weekend we started work on transforming her room just for her. I haven't had a chance to do much creative work for my babies, since the last two times a baby was on the way I was stuck in bed. It was such a blessing for me to be able to create for her - almost everything in this space. Her blanket, pillows, pennant banner, paintings, dolls, bunny rabbit, and dollhouse. I hope as she's in this space made for her she can feel the love we have for her.

And she will be named...

We don't know much about our daughter, but what we do know is that this little girl has been through more than many will ever experience in a lifetime.

She has experienced very dark and sad things. But we know that there is a Light that shines even in the darkest places. Bringing hope when all hope seems lost. This is the goodness of our God.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

It took BJ and I four years to come to an agreement on our baby girl's name. But now, we know that she's our Lainey. Our precious little girl that we just can't wait to hold, sing to, read to, play with, cuddle and love! We know also that she will be a light in our lives as well, and such a beautiful blessing to all of us!

Best. Week. Ever!

This past Sunday BJ and I were both online, well after the kids were off to bed, Googling all we could to learn about our baby girl's hometown and orphanage. BJ ran across an organization called Red Thread Charities. There are four primary orphanages they visit, working to help improve conditions, educate the staff on therapy & medical approaches for the children with special needs, and love on the little ones. They are awesome! We saw that they have a yearly calendar for our child's orphanage (SWI), with photos of the SWI and some of the children there, which is used as a fundraiser for RTC. We were so excited to have a copy, and so I messaged them to see if they might have any left.  They did! The very very sweet woman named Jane messaged me back quickly, and just a few days later, she had sent us now just the calendar, but a few other special gifts as well, including a little doll silk dress. Eeek!! So sweet!

And not only that! Jane emailed me the day after we first contacted her - she had found photos of our baby girl from when their team had been there this past fall (when our baby girl was 9 months old)! Again, EEEEK!!!  She sent a bunch of photos - 15!! I could hardly believe it! I am just so thankful for this awesome group. Not only did they take and save these photos, but they also held her and loved on her when I couldn't. And they have given me so much peace of mind about our little one. She is being so well cared for while she waits.

AND... Jane put me in touch with the president of Red Thread Charities, who will be back at our daughter's SWI in early May. She offered to look in again on our little girl and take MORE pictures of her for us! There's also another woman, a fellow adoptive momma, who will be in our province in just a week and a half, who has also offered to visit our girl and take photos for us!

THEN... (seriously this has been an awesome week) just one day later we got an update from our agency with a new, very recent photo of our baby girl and a VIDEO of her! She's starting to walk!! We had heard this news in the update, but seeing her walking - oh my goodness - I'm just SO proud of her and so in love. It's truly amazing that she is on target developmentally, considering all she's been through. I'm pretty sure she's the cutest little genius baby girl on the planet. :)

ALSO... We also received two unexpected gifts in the mail - a children's book on adoption, and an adorable little dress for our little girl from my two sweet friends Jessica and Chrissy!

This week could only get better if I were holding my sweet girl. I'm smiling a lot. :)

Care Package

Yesterday after work I was finally able to send out the care package we had put together for our little one. The first time she will see our faces is in this letter and in this book. And the first time she will hear our voices will be on the CD recordings we made for her, saying hello and how much we love her in Chinese and English. I couldn't help but kiss the book a few times before I sent it on its way, and saying a little prayer that this book would help prepare our baby girl for what's to come.

My favorite part of the package was the little board book we created for her! I can't share the cover because it has her Chinese name (which we have to keep private), but here are some of the other pages we made!

I-800 on it's way!

Our hard copy LOA arrived yesterday!!! There was a little issue with my name that needed to get sorted out, but thankfully it did quickly!

So now, our I-800, a HUGE step on our adoption process, is now on it's way to Texas for approval! There are 31 steps between getting matched and going to China, and we are now on step 5! Not too bad considering we just learned about our baby girl one week ago today! :)

After checking, double-checking, and triple checking, and sending out our paperwork, we spent the day just hanging around the house. At Ezra's naptime I was able to make baby girl a simple little lap quilt and a pillow for her bedroom. I'm almost done with all of the little details for her room, we just need to paint it!